
By Akintoye, Oluyemi Ayorinde, PhD
Thank you for reading this post, don't forget to subscribe!In the realm of love and marriage, societal norms often dictate that it is love that serves as the primary motivation for women to enter into matrimony. However, this article delves into a thought-provoking perspective, suggesting that it is not love alone but care from a man that truly motivates women to seek marriage. Contrary to popular belief, women prioritize factors such as food, gifts, and fame over a poor man’s dying love. By exploring the complexities of relationships and unraveling the significance of care, this article challenges traditional notions and aims to shed light on the multifaceted motivations that influence women’s decisions to enter into marriage.
1. Introduction: Challenging Traditional Notions of Love and Marriage

As a university teacher, I have had the opportunity of addressing several male and female students at undergraduate and postgraduate levels. Most students I have spoken to have expressed anti-marriage sentiments. Several have exploitative motives, which ultimately will result in broken or unromantic marriages.The expectations are frightening. This can result in two persons getting married for different reasons such as sex, companionship, assets, fame and glamor and so on. The erosion of male authority in marriage , as well as the retention of the financial responsibilities expected from men have been dramatically devastating. the developing countries brave the introduction and forced adoption of western ideologies of family life, rights and terms of reference in marriage, there is a dire need to challenge and ruminate on the components and ideals of traditional notion of love and marriage , especially in developing countries. The trends in the United States of America and Europe have resulted in unprecedented rates of divorce, single parents, drug addiction, rapes, suicides, homelessness and homosexuality, due to the destruction of the very fabric of the marriage institution. Now, what are the costs of marriage?, what are the causes of the undesirability of marriage, and the high rates of marital breakdown?. What have changed?. Why are we here and where are we heading to?. The respect and leadership roles that men treasure in marriage has been taken away. The love and security that women desire have evaporated, like the ozone layer. What are the roles of love and responsibilities in marriage.
ONE FEMALE STUDENTS TOLD ME “”” IF MY HUSBAND CANT TAKE CARE OF ME, “WHAT AM I DOING IN HIS HOUSE”?
IF A MAN CANT TAKE CARE OF ME , I WOULD RATHER STAY ALONE?
I ASKED A FEW OTHER WOMEN IF THEY WILL MARRY A MAN WHO HAD NO MONEY/FUND BUT LOVES THEM OR A MAN WHO HAS WEALTH BUT DOESNT LOVE THEM?. tO MY SURPRISE ALL OF THEM FRANKLY TOLD ME THEY PREFER TO MARRY A MAN WHO HAS WEALTH BU
1.1 Rethinking the Role of Love in Marriage
Love has long been considered the pinnacle of romantic relationships, the driving force behind the decision to tie the knot. However, perhaps it’s time to challenge this conventional wisdom. While love undeniably plays a role in marriage, it may not be the sole or primary motivator for women.
1.2 Examining the Motivations behind Women’s Decision to Get Married
In a world where women have increasingly gained independence and agency, it is essential to understand the factors that drive their decision to enter into marriage. Beyond love, there are other significant considerations that influence women’s choices, including the care and practical support provided by their partners, and the impact of material factors such as food, gifts, and fame.
2. The Role of Care in Motivating Women to Get Married
2.1 The Power of Care and Support in Relationships
Care and support are the unsung heroes of successful relationships. While love may be fleeting, it is the consistent display of care and nurturing that truly sustains a partnership. When a man demonstrates genuine care, attention, and emotional support, it becomes a powerful motivator for women to consider marriage.
2.2 How Emotional and Practical Care Influence Women’s Marriage Choices
Emotional care goes beyond mere words and gestures; it encompasses empathy, understanding, and a willingness to be present. Similarly, practical care, such as taking responsibility for household chores or offering financial stability, demonstrates a man’s ability to provide and creates a secure foundation for a potential lifelong commitment. These forms of care hold significant sway in women’s decisions to embark on the journey of marriage.

3. Women’s Priorities: Food, Gifts, and Fame
3.1 The Significance of Material Factors in Women’s Decision to Get Married
Contrary to the notion that women are solely driven by love, there are material factors that also play a role in their decision to get married. These factors, which include food, gifts, and fame, hold significance in shaping women’s motivations and desires.
3.2 Exploring the Impact of Food, Gifts, and Fame on Women’s Motivations
Food, an essential part of our daily lives, can become symbolic of a man’s ability to provide and care for his partner. Gifts, while not the be-all and end-all, can demonstrate thoughtfulness and effort, making women feel valued and cherished. Additionally, fame, though often misunderstood, can offer social status and security, which some women find appealing in a potential spouse.
4. Debunking the Myth of “Dying Love” as a Motivation for Marriage

4.1 Analyzing the Misconceptions Surrounding “Dying Love”
The notion of “dying love” as the driving force behind marriage is a romanticized ideal that may not accurately reflect the complexities of real-life relationships. Love is not a passive emotion but a dynamic and evolving force that requires continuous nurturing and effort from both partners. To place the burden of love solely on a man’s shoulders is unrealistic and unfair.
4.2 Unveiling the True Motivations behind Women’s Choice to Marry
When women make the decision to marry, it is essential to understand their multi-faceted motivations. Love, care, practical support, and material factors all play a role in shaping their choices. By recognizing and appreciating the diverse motivations behind women’s decisions to marry, we can move beyond traditional stereotypes and embrace a more nuanced understanding of relationships. After all, it takes more than just “dying love” to build a fulfilling and lasting partnership.
5. Understanding the Importance of Emotional and Practical Support from Men
5.1 Recognizing the Value of Emotional Connection and Understanding
When it comes to relationships, emotional connection is like the secret sauce that keeps the whole thing from going stale. It’s not just love that motivates women to get married, but rather the care and emotional support they receive from their partners. Women appreciate the men who can listen, understand, and be there for them when they need it most.
While grand gestures and fancy dates can be nice, it’s the little moments of emotional connection that truly matter. A man who can empathize, offer a shoulder to cry on, or simply provide a listening ear is worth his weight in gold. It’s these emotional bonds that create a strong foundation for a lasting partnership.

5.2 The Role of Practical Support in Nurturing a Healthy Relationship
Love is undoubtedly important, but practical support should not be underestimated. In a world where responsibilities and challenges often feel overwhelming, having a partner who can lend a helping hand is a game-changer. Women appreciate men who are willing to share the load and actively contribute to the relationship.
Whether it’s doing household chores, making important decisions together, or supporting each other’s career aspirations, practical support can foster a sense of security and trust. It shows that the man is invested in building a life together and is willing to go the extra mile to ensure the happiness and well-being of both partners.
6. The Impact of Societal Expectations on Women’s Motivations for Marriage

6.1 Investigating the Influence of Societal Pressures on Women’s Decisions
Societal expectations have a significant impact on women’s motivations for marriage. From a young age, women are often bombarded with messages that prioritize material wealth, gifts, and fame. These societal pressures can shape their desires and influence the choices they make when it comes to relationships.
However, it is essential to recognize that these external factors should not be the sole driving force behind a woman’s decision to marry. It is crucial to question these expectations and consider what truly brings fulfillment and happiness in a relationship.
6.2 Breaking Free from Societal Expectations: Empowering Women’s Choices
Empowering women to make choices based on their own desires and values is vital. It’s time to challenge the notion that a man’s wealth or status is more important than genuine love and care. By encouraging women to prioritize emotional connection, respect, and partnership, we can break free from the shackles of societal expectations and foster healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Women should feel empowered to seek partners who value them for who they are, rather than what they can offer in material terms. By redefining success in relationships, we can create a society that values love, care, and mutual support above all else.
7. Breaking Stereotypes: The Value of Mutual Respect and Partnership in Relationships
7.1 Moving Beyond Gender Stereotypes in Relationships
Gone are the days when relationships were confined to traditional gender roles. Today, women are seeking partners who see them as equals and value their strengths and contributions. Breaking stereotypes is essential in building healthy and satisfying relationships.
Instead of assuming specific roles based on gender, couples are now recognizing that both partners have unique talents and capabilities to bring to the table. A relationship built on mutual respect embraces each other’s individuality and fosters a sense of partnership where both partners can thrive.
7.2 Emphasizing the Importance of Mutual Respect and Partnership
Mutual respect forms the bedrock of any successful relationship. It means honoring each other’s opinions, listening without judgment, and treating each other as equals. When women are searching for a partner, they are looking for someone who respects them, values their opinions, and supports their dreams and ambitions.

Partnership goes hand in hand with respect. It means working together, communicating openly, and making decisions as a team. In a true partnership, both partners are committed to supporting and uplifting each other, fostering a relationship that is built to withstand the tests of time.
8. Conclusion: Redefining Love and Care in Modern Relationships
In conclusion, it’s essential to recognize that women are motivated to get married not just by love, but by the care they receive from men. Emotional connection, understanding, practical support, and mutual respect are the pillars on which lasting relationships are built.
Societal expectations may place emphasis on material wealth and fame, but it is up to us to redefine what truly matters in modern relationships. By valuing love, care, and partnership above superficial factors, we can create a world where women are empowered to make choices based on their own desires and find relationships that bring true fulfillment.
8. Conclusion: Redefining Love and Care in Modern Relationships
In conclusion, it is evident that love alone does not serve as the sole motivation for women to get married. Care, in its various forms, plays a significant role in shaping their decisions. The importance of emotional and practical support, along with material factors like food, gifts, and fame, cannot be overlooked. By breaking free from stereotypes and societal expectations, we can empower women to make choices based on mutual respect and partnership, rather than subscribing to outdated notions of love. Ultimately, redefining love and care in modern relationships allows us to foster healthier and more fulfilling unions, where both parties can thrive and find lasting happiness.
FAQ
1. Is love not important at all in motivating women to get married?
Love is undoubtedly a crucial element in relationships and marriage. However, this article aims to challenge the notion that love alone is the sole motivation for women to enter into matrimony. It argues that care, in its various forms, such as emotional and practical support, holds equal importance in influencing their decisions.
2. Why do material factors like food, gifts, and fame play a role in women’s motivations for marriage?
Material factors such as food, gifts, and fame may play a role in women’s motivations for marriage due to societal expectations, cultural influences, and personal preferences. These factors can provide a sense of security, social status, and fulfillment that may contribute to their decision-making process.
3. How do societal expectations impact women’s motivations for marriage?

Societal expectations can exert significant pressure on women when it comes to marriage. Traditional norms and gender roles often dictate that women should prioritize finding a partner based on love alone. This article explores how societal expectations can influence women to consider factors beyond love, such as care, material security, and social standing, when making decisions about marriage.
4. How can redefining love and care in relationships benefit both partners?
Redefining love and care in relationships allows for a more holistic approach to marriage. By prioritizing mutual respect, emotional connection, and practical support, both partners can create a foundation of trust and understanding. This fosters healthier unions where both individuals can thrive, leading to increased happiness and fulfillment for both parties involved.
SO WHAT LESSON CAN WE LEARN TO SAVE THIS ALL IMPORTANT FAMILTABILIZING INSTITUTION WE DEPEND ON